My life experience (part 2)

 Everyone needs someone close for comfort when they feel sad and down right? Well i befriended a girl , no names should be mention, I was so addicted to telling her my grievances. There was no doubt about it. After work, I would call her and talked for hours, she was indeed a very good listener. That time I thought it was a very good idea to have her as my bestirs. Why? Because she is smart. She never had to endure what I have to in the work place. She knows the right things to say, right moves, everything she did was just perfect. Our superior just love having her nearby her. Of course she don't need to perform messy jobs like I did. She was never given timeline for work. She knows how to cover for herself. She knows when and what to give as a gift to our superior on her birthday. I didn't know that this was a necessity. I was brought up in a simple lifestyle. Furthermore i had no access to my own account i. Thanks to my then crazy boyfriend. I can't even shop with my own money what more to say buy someone a gift!!! (Don't judge me readers. Some of you may think I could just get rid of him. Please remember i did say he was crazy and possesive. I feared him. I am scared shit of him)

Funny thing is i found out after more than 10 years he was womanizing while dating me. While he was so busy controlling my movements I am shocked he had the time to woo others. Let's take this down as my first shock of men. How selfish they can be. And how one woman is never enough for their ego.

I was desperate to break off with him. I would kill my self if I have to end up marrying him. Well that was my plan  then. Only plan i had. It felt like a good one then. I hated him so much and I dislike how his family treated me. No way was I going to end up beating his surname. No way no how.

I forgotten how but I cooked up an excuse to temporarily cool off friday m each other. Wow can u imagine a heavy stone lifted from my chest? Anyway I didn't miss him at all until for no reason he was back in my life with his usual verbal and mental abusing me. 

During the cooling off period i allowed myself to get to know other men that tried to woo me. It was only then I realized that not all men are the same. Some are nice. They are not as rude and crazy as him. Though I dare not allow myself to trust any of them. It looks and sound too good to be true. I had many suiters but ..... I am just afraid of getting hurt. It was better to leave nature taking its own course. If it was meant to be then it shall be. 

I even encountered 3 men who wooed me at the same time. It was only on a later stage that i found out three of them had a bet on me. Who should win my heart first.. This marked as my 2nd shock about men. They didn't mind the girl getting hurt, they just want to feel the feeling of victory. 

I do not have any friends i was not allowed any. If he found out about me having friends he will looked them up and .... Scare them away from me..  But secretly I hide a bestie that i would confide my darkest secrets to daily.